i think i’m getting back in the saddle again.
we’ve moved into our lovely home. i’m so blessed by its beauty and overcome by all the meaning it holds inside that i’m not sure i’ll ever be able to express my gratitude. God has seen fit to give us more than we need, He’s tapped into desires and comforts and personal preferences far beyond what we deserve or require or have earned ourselves, and i’m all the more motivated to glorify Him with these rooms and this refrigerator and that rocking chair as i wake up within these walls each day.
these bedrooms beckon me to pull out our foster care application, to leave it out until the pages are filled with all there is to share, honest and willing and wanting and as ready as we know how to be. this living room coaxes me into opening up the laptop, tentatively clicking over to wordpress and letting the words come as they may. the kitchen asks for mouths to feed and the dining room sits ready to host and fulfill and cultivate relationship. i’ve never been so aware of what it is to be a vessel, to hold this home with hands & doors wide open, welcoming those on the outside into the fold. i’ve also never been so conscious of caring for those who dwell within the walls each day, recognizing this space as sacred and the container of so much that matters, a marriage, a child, three individuals and one inseparable union.
it’s a whirlwind of holy and common, floors to be swept and hearts to be cherished.
and i’d say it’s the cry of many mothers’ hearts to love the unloved, to welcome inside, to protect the brood while teaching them to protect the unprotected, to value the valuable, to believe the seemingly unbelievable.
it doesn’t take a beautiful, spacious home to do all of this. Lord knows we tried to give it our best within 700 square feet of seminary housing, and my memory lacks a night with dear friends that was crammed or uncomfortable, offering in its stead a drove of remembrances that speak of full and precious and together moments. yet now He’s seen fit to give us much, and i’ve never known so clearly that for everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required.
it’s a beautiful, humbling, life-giving much, and it is joy to explore within.
there’s so much i’m anxious to return to. there were books to read and social justice issues to discuss and if writing is therapy then i’ve been skipping some appointments. margin has found its way back into my life and i’m so eager to indulge its grace. i’ll be back soon, friends. i mean it this time.